I'm not saying I'm mad at Tony Romo for signing a $108M contract with the Dallas Cowboys. However, I have to ask if he's really worth it. When defending me, I don't mind having my intelligence insulted. If your argument is that Jerry Jones was stuck between a rock and a hard place and had no other options in the draft or free agent market, okay then your insult would be more valid.
That wasn't Darrell's argument today, which was about as good as his very lame comebacks. Doug Gottlieb would have thought they were lame.
I was looking forward to a mindblowing explanation that would have really made me re-evaluate my IQ level. However, like Tony Romo, the snap was botched and he dropped the ball. In my profession I've been told never to "drop to someone's level". I've disagreed with that philosophy as I like to drop to their level and show them how it's really done.
"Marketing 101"
If I had to admit a mistake, it would have been that I explain to Darrell (because he was so intelligent he would understand) that the Dallas Cowboys sell themselves and the explanation of Tony Romo sells tickets would be invalid. Guess what Darrell, just like your insult jokebook, it failed you. Dallas Cowboys alone sell themselves and America watches them to succeed or fail, with or without Tony Romo. Tony Romo just happens to be a punching bag, not the main attraction. The DeathStar that Jerry Jones built is more of a marketing attraction than Tony Romo (also see Cowboys Classic, NCAA Elite 8, WWE WrestleMania, etc. for more examples to back my point). Jerry Jones paying a QB Joe Flacco money (still weird to say) for 10 years of mediocrity and one playoff win seems very unwise.
As for Allen Iverson, which shot 40 times and made on 15, which is higher than Darrell's insult success percentage, was actually more of a valid argument than Tony Romo, because he actually got the 76ers closer to an NBA Championship. So I would say he was worth the money for his success on the court, not just marketing.
BOOK 'EM DAN-O!!!
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
OTM Exclusive: Colonel Reb breaks his silence
Colonel Reb was banished from the Ole Miss Campus in 2010 to be succeeded by a more angry and cocaine influenced version of Barney Bear.
Since his exile from The Grove, Colonel Reb has lived a very secluded life at his plantation house in Adams County. Sipping fine bourbon, smoking cheap cigars, and trying to regroup after his image was tainted for nearly 70 years.
He has began to adapt into the 21st Century by opening a gmail account, purchasing a pre-paid cell phone, and dabbling a little bit into Facebook. OTM was able to reach Colonel Reb recently and we show great gratitude that he was able to grant us this interview:
JM: Colonel Reb, this is Jason Marks from On The Marks Sports. I want to say again, thank you again for taking the time to talk to us.
Colonel Reb: (In Mark Twain voice) THE PLEASUH IS ALLL MAHN YOUNG MAN! WHEN WILL THIS INTERVIEW BE POSTED IN THE PAPUH??/
JM: Actually sir, we are a blog site.
Colonel Reb: BLAWWG???? WHUT IN THE HAY-YELL IS THAT??? SOME NEW DISEASE LIKE DIS-UHN-TERRY????
JM: No sir, it's an internet term for a compilation of posts for a website.
Colonel Reb: IN-TUH-NET????
JM: Nevermind. So Colonel, it has been over 2 years since your dismissal from the Ole Miss campus. How did it feel when it happened?
Colonel Reb: WELL JOSEPH, I WAS VURY HURT! I HAD BEEN PAINTED WITH A BROAD BRUSH. JUST BECAWSE I WORE A GIANT HAT, HAD A LONG MOUSTACHE AND DRESSED LIKE MARK TWAIN.....THAT DAMN COLONUHL SANDUS IS A COPYCAT....THAT I WAS THE OWNER OF NEGROES AND HELD THEM IN LOW REGARD. THAT WAS JUST NOT THE CASE. LITTLE KNOWN TO MOST, MY DAUGHTER EVENTUALLY MARRIED A BLACK MAN IN WHICH I WAS IN SUPPORT OF, BUT THEY DON'T PRINT THAT IN PAPUHS. I WAS BANUSHED FOR NO REASON AND REPLACED WITH WHAT......A BLACK BEAR!
JM: What did you think of the decision to choose the Black Bear as your successor?
Colonel Reb: I LIKE THE CHOICE! BUT I FIG-YUHD THAT A JACK-ASS WAS MORE FITTING BECAWSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY ACTED LIKE WHEN THEY DECIDED TO BANUSH ME.
JM: Sounds like there's still some bitterness towards the school you represented for so many years.
Colonel Reb: AHHH WOULDN'T CALL IT BITTERNESS JUSTIN, JUST HURT THAT'S ALL. I NEVER ONCE OWNED A SLAVE AND I NEVER TALKED DOWN TO A NEGRO. THE FACT THAT AH WAS PAINTED WITH A STEREOTYPE REALLY SADDENS ME. I LOVE OLE MISS AND ALWAYS WILL. I WISHED THEY LOVED ME ENOUGH TO TELL THE REAL STORY ABOUT ME.
JM: So what have you been doing since your days at Ole Miss?
Colonel Reb: I RECENTLY GOT THIS THING CALLED CABLE TV, IT'S SPECTACULAR AND HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING THIS MAHSHALL HENDUHSUN FELLA.......HE'S LIKE ME. HE'S POLARIZING, STEREOTYPED, AND MISUNDERSTOOD. I'VE ALSO MADE SOME SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS AT A FEW MOOSE LODGES AROUND THE STATE, AND I'VE ALSO DRAWN MORE INTO POLITICAL ACTIVISM.
JM: Political Activism? Elaborate.
Colonel Reb: WELLL JESSIE, I'VE BEEN ACTIVE IN THE ABORTION AND GAY RIGHTS ISSUES. AH WISH THAT SOME OF THESE PEOPLE WOULD LEAVE THOSE POOR WOMEN AND GAYS ALONE.
JM: You're Pro-Choice on both issues??? I have to say, I'm surprised.
Colonel Reb: SEEE JACOB, NOBAWDY CARES TO TRY AND GET THE KNOW THE REAL ME. I WAS ONCE AGAINST ABORTIONS, BUT LIVING IN MISSISSIPPI AS LONG AS I HAVE, I STARTED TO FEEL THE NEED THEY WERE NECESSARY, ESPECIALLY IN THAT CRAPHOLE TOWN CALLED STARKVILLE.
JM: I see, what made you turn around on gay marriage?
Colonel Reb: DID I HAVE MAH PREJUDICE BEFORE? YES, BUT THEN ONE NIGHT IN BATON ROUGE AFTER THE LSU GAME, I HAD BECOME FRIENDS WITH SOME LSU FANS AND THEY TOLD ME TO GO THIS ESTABLISHMENT CALLED GEORGE'S PLACE. I HAD FOUND IT ODD THAT THE BARTENDER SCOFFED WHEN I ASKED FOR A EVAN WILLIAMS MIXED WITH DR PEPPER WHILE A FLAMBOYANT COP ASKED ME IF HE COULD BUY ME AN APPLE MARTINI. I RESPECTFULLY DECLINED HIS ADVANCES WHEN I KNEW I WASN'T GOING TO BE ARRESTED FOR THE CUBAN CIGARS I HAD IN MY POCKET. FROM THAT NIGHT ON, I KNEW THESE PEOPLE HAD TO SETTLE DOWN AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO DO THAT THAN GET MARRIED. JUST ASK MY 3 EX-WIVES.
JM: Is there an alternate motive for this sudden change in heart?
Colonel Reb: YES SIR. OUR ECONOMY IS IN THE TOILET AND THE VALUE OF MY STOCKS AND LAND ARE DROPPING. AH NEEDED ROMNEH ELECTED AND IT LOOKED GOOD FOR A WHILE. ROMNEH WAS SCHOOLING OBAWWWMA ON ECONOMIC ISSUES, BUT THEN THE OTHER DUMBASS REPUBLICANS HAD TO TAKE THE BAIT AND MAKE THEMSELVES STUPID ON THE ABORTION AND GAY ISSUE. I THANK THAT'S WHAT COST ROMNEH THE WHITE HOUSE!
JM: Colonel Reb, I thank you the time you have taken to talk to us and I hope we get to do it again.
Colonel Reb: JARED, IT WAS A GREAT PLEASHUH. IT FELT GOOD TO BREAK THE SILENCE AND CLEAR MY NAME FROM THE PAINFUL STEREOTYPES THAT HAVE BEEN A SHADOW TO ME ALL THESE YEARS. HAVE A GOOD DAY SON!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
The NFL may be ready for an openly gay player, but are the fans?
If you've seen the headlines in the news, the Supreme Court is debating the issue of Gay Marriage.
As much as some of you like to separate politics from sports, it's time to just face the real world. Reports have surfaced this week that an active NFL player was considering coming out as a homosexual in the near future. This has sparked a debate on whether it would be a good idea or a bad idea to do so.
Per the CBS Sports Report by Mike Freeman, "Based on interviews over the past several weeks with current and former players, I'm told that a current gay NFL player is strongly considering coming out publicly within the next few months -- and after doing so, the player would attempt to continue his career."
Per your beliefs on the issue of homosexuality and gay marriage, we would all agree that this was eventually going to happen. It's already happened in the NBA. No I'm not talking about Rudy Gay, John Amaechi was the first NBA player who became openly gay.
You might say, well there's not a Major Leaguer who has come out and I'm not talking about the Mike Piazza jokes about his sexual orientation. Glenn Burke was an Outfielder for the Oakland A's and Los Angeles Dodgers during the 1970's. He was the first player to come out as openly gay in the majors. Former Major Leaguer Billy Bean would be the 2nd Major Leaguer to come out, but didn't do so until years after his playing career.
According to Burke's wiki page, his teammates had already known and didn't seem to care. There was more concern of the reaction from the rest of the league and fans.
The NHL could also be crossing this bridge. Rumors speculate it could be a player on the Chicago Blackhawks or Montreal Canadiens.
Which brings us to the NFL. The rumor mill, in the past, has grinded out the sexual orientation question of players like Eddie George and Kordell Stewart, though both have never been confirmed.
Mant'i Te'o's interest in men or women has been question because he mistakenly perceived Jake from State Farm as a beautiful Samoan woman and because he runs a slow 40.
Where has that reaction mostly come from? If you answered the fans, you are correct.
NFL Players have spoken out against gay marriage. Some focusing on the issue, or like the bozo in the Super Bowl who spoke against gay people, then magically grown fond of them in a 24 hour period.
Having said that, the NFL players may be ready for an openly gay player in their league, but are the fans?
I don't think so.
When this player comes out, the microscope and spotlight will shine brighter on him than Tim Tebow or Tom Brady.
When this player fails, he will be ridiculed. When he achieves on the field, he will still be ridiculed.
No matter if you're a Conservative or a Liberal, this day was going to come. If it has happened in 2 major sports, a 3rd sports has a player considering, it's only foolish to deny that one day the NFL will have to cross this bridge.
This is going to happen whether you like it or not. If not soon, it will eventually.
As much as some of you like to separate politics from sports, it's time to just face the real world. Reports have surfaced this week that an active NFL player was considering coming out as a homosexual in the near future. This has sparked a debate on whether it would be a good idea or a bad idea to do so.
Per the CBS Sports Report by Mike Freeman, "Based on interviews over the past several weeks with current and former players, I'm told that a current gay NFL player is strongly considering coming out publicly within the next few months -- and after doing so, the player would attempt to continue his career."
Per your beliefs on the issue of homosexuality and gay marriage, we would all agree that this was eventually going to happen. It's already happened in the NBA. No I'm not talking about Rudy Gay, John Amaechi was the first NBA player who became openly gay.
You might say, well there's not a Major Leaguer who has come out and I'm not talking about the Mike Piazza jokes about his sexual orientation. Glenn Burke was an Outfielder for the Oakland A's and Los Angeles Dodgers during the 1970's. He was the first player to come out as openly gay in the majors. Former Major Leaguer Billy Bean would be the 2nd Major Leaguer to come out, but didn't do so until years after his playing career.
According to Burke's wiki page, his teammates had already known and didn't seem to care. There was more concern of the reaction from the rest of the league and fans.
The NHL could also be crossing this bridge. Rumors speculate it could be a player on the Chicago Blackhawks or Montreal Canadiens.
Which brings us to the NFL. The rumor mill, in the past, has grinded out the sexual orientation question of players like Eddie George and Kordell Stewart, though both have never been confirmed.
Mant'i Te'o's interest in men or women has been question because he mistakenly perceived Jake from State Farm as a beautiful Samoan woman and because he runs a slow 40.
Where has that reaction mostly come from? If you answered the fans, you are correct.
NFL Players have spoken out against gay marriage. Some focusing on the issue, or like the bozo in the Super Bowl who spoke against gay people, then magically grown fond of them in a 24 hour period.
Having said that, the NFL players may be ready for an openly gay player in their league, but are the fans?
I don't think so.
When this player comes out, the microscope and spotlight will shine brighter on him than Tim Tebow or Tom Brady.
When this player fails, he will be ridiculed. When he achieves on the field, he will still be ridiculed.
No matter if you're a Conservative or a Liberal, this day was going to come. If it has happened in 2 major sports, a 3rd sports has a player considering, it's only foolish to deny that one day the NFL will have to cross this bridge.
This is going to happen whether you like it or not. If not soon, it will eventually.
Monday, March 25, 2013
A Satirical Look at the Two Decade Old Georgia Water Crisis.....with SEC Flavor.
SEC Football has been known for it's fall tailgating, beautiful women, and let's say "fan interaction". But who knew that state disputes went beyond just the fall Saturdays on the gridiron. The state of Georgia has been trying to raid it's neighboring states for over two decades for the basic necessity of life.....water. Why? Because UGA is very very thirsty very very often.
The state of Georgia can't seem to meet their grueling demands. Here's some video tutorials on the failed Georgia attempts before.
As of now....waging war with Alabama and/or Florida would probably mean total annihilation of the entire state of Georgia. A Georgia invasion of Alabama and Florida's water supply could damage the ecosystem and habitat of:
That could be an alliance too much for one thirsty Bulldog. So what remaining neighboring state would be the most vulnerable to quench UGA's thirst???? That's right, Tennessee. The Chattanooga Times reported today that the Georgia State Legislature voted 48-2 to move their border up one mile into Tennessee to tap into part of Nickajack Lake to meet their thirst for that sweet Tennessee River booty. However, this is nothing new to the residents of Tennessee and Georgia.
Smokey is not happy about this and Butch Jones probably didn't realize the magnitude of the Tennessee/Georgia game in his 1st season until today. Derek Dooley could not fight off the thirsty UGA and it eventually cost him his job. Lane Kiffin did keep UGA at bay from hydrating from the sweet nectar of Ole' Smokey's Water Bowl before going off to the Pacific to preserve Ducks, Bears, Wildcats, and Fighting Trees.
Ole' Smokey is now calling on Butch Jones to protect the pure treasure that Tennessee holds so dear away from the fat, wrinkly paws of the water hog that is UGA. Smokey has won this fight before, and he will fight until the bitter end to keep UGA from quenching his gigantic thirst. If he has to, he will call on some reinforcement.
The state of Georgia can't seem to meet their grueling demands. Here's some video tutorials on the failed Georgia attempts before.
As of now....waging war with Alabama and/or Florida would probably mean total annihilation of the entire state of Georgia. A Georgia invasion of Alabama and Florida's water supply could damage the ecosystem and habitat of:
Big Al, who requires a large amount of water for his size. Mostly for hydration and bathing.
Aubie, who doesn't require as much water for necessity, but is pissed off Big Al is using large amounts and wants just as much.
Spirit, which a Georgia invasion would impact fish supply, and pissed off Big Al uses so much water
Albert (He's an Alligator who lives in water and just hates Georgia all together).
That could be an alliance too much for one thirsty Bulldog. So what remaining neighboring state would be the most vulnerable to quench UGA's thirst???? That's right, Tennessee. The Chattanooga Times reported today that the Georgia State Legislature voted 48-2 to move their border up one mile into Tennessee to tap into part of Nickajack Lake to meet their thirst for that sweet Tennessee River booty. However, this is nothing new to the residents of Tennessee and Georgia.
Smokey is not happy about this and Butch Jones probably didn't realize the magnitude of the Tennessee/Georgia game in his 1st season until today. Derek Dooley could not fight off the thirsty UGA and it eventually cost him his job. Lane Kiffin did keep UGA at bay from hydrating from the sweet nectar of Ole' Smokey's Water Bowl before going off to the Pacific to preserve Ducks, Bears, Wildcats, and Fighting Trees.
Ole' Smokey is now calling on Butch Jones to protect the pure treasure that Tennessee holds so dear away from the fat, wrinkly paws of the water hog that is UGA. Smokey has won this fight before, and he will fight until the bitter end to keep UGA from quenching his gigantic thirst. If he has to, he will call on some reinforcement.
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